The Holland Days

In case you were wondering

2009-07-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

This is what Dan does with any free second he has. He built everything you see from scratch, except the engine. Pretty amazing huh? Its nice to have our own railroad in the back yard, Emma's petshops and doll house people especially appreciate it :)

Happy Independence Day

2009-07-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

We had a relaxing holiday. Just hanging out at the old homestead. Not doing anything. It was great. We barbecued for dinner, made ice cream clowns/monkeys/blobs, sang happy birthday dear America and then headed up to Dixon to watch the fireworks with our friends the Bairs. We fought traffic for about 10 seconds on the way home from the sun flower field where we parked. It was awesome!

I did miss the salt water taffy that my parents always have. The most memorable 4th of July for me was when my dad blew his hand off with a flower firecracker...that was the best! He was showing my brothers how to throw them when it went off in his hand. My mom put it in a bucket of ice and hightailed it to the ER. He had to wear a huge bandage that looked like a boxing glove for a long long time after that. Lesson learned daddy-o!!! Never light firecrackers in your hand.

Emma's clown and Dan's monkey....mine wasn't worth taking a picture of.

Ava and Emma Lou

I love this photo that Dan took. Emma in the distance :)

Happy 230 something B-day America and thanks for giving us an extra day off!

Emma's first day of Pre K Academy

2009-06-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

There is this super cool program offered by the school district here to get kids ramped up and ready for kindergarten. It is everyday from 8:15-12:15 for 3 weeks. They feed the kids breakfast, snack and lunch which is totally awesome. I found out that Emma actually eats when she is around other children. Too bad we don't have any at home for her to eat with! She has been enjoying it so far.....I hope she likes real kindergarten just as much.

Cutie Patootie!

Foster Puppies

2009-06-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

I finally convinced Dan to let us become a foster home for puppies. I am working with a lady that has a puppy rescue organization about an hour away from me. She has over 60 puppies that are waiting for permanent homes. She gets them from shelters, out of dumpsters, on the side of the road or even from people who drop them on her door step. She had 3 pregnant dogs which were abandoned when their 87 year old owner died. I feel so sorry for these sweet little pups! How could anyone not love them? We took 2 home with us....they are chihuahua daschund mixes about 9 weeks old. We have a boy and a girl. Emma named them Jack and the beanstalk whom she calls Jack and Cinderella who goes by Bella. They are the cutest things ever and keep us waking up with a smile. If I can't have any more babies, then I might as well have puppies right? They are easier to deal with anyway. And they sleep through the night-big plus!!! We are having so much fun with them. Anyone wanna adopt them???? We will be sad to see them go, but will get another set when they are gone. It has been so good for Emma....I don't think she has been bored for a whole 3 days!! Hopefully the excitement won't wear off too quickly.

Jack, Emma and Bella

Awww...the picture just doesn't do them justice. They are my sweeties, all 3 of them!

Poor pups....Emma thinks they are rag dolls. But they don't run away from her, so I guess maybe they like it.

Emma's song to the pups

Playing sleep over

5:30 am wake up call!!

Yummy berries

2009-06-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

My parents helped us plant some berry bushes in the garden last fall and surprisingly they produced this year! We got 3 raspberry bushes from my mom and dad's house, 2 golden berries from my mom's friend in Carey Idaho and 2 blackberries from the Dr. that I work for. There weren't too many berries, but the ones we did get were super delicious! Thanks to all who donated their plants so we could have a treat! Hopefully next year we will get more than just a hand full!

Where's Emma?

2009-06-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

Emma and I were playing hide and seek one morning. I was looking all over the place for her and was starting to get a little worried when I couldn't find her. Then I heard a little squeak coming from our bed. I couldn't believe it when I found her. I would have never known she was under there!!!

Where are you????

Squeak squeak!! Here I am!

Baseball Date

2009-06-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

We finally went on a date....I think it was the first real one we had been on all year. That is sad! We got a babysitter and headed up to Sac to the Rivercats game. They were playing some team from Colorado...I can't remember their name. I was more interested in watching the freaks around us spill their beer and choke on their disgusting hot dogs! It was just so nice to get out and remember why we got together in the first place. It is sad to say that I had forgotten how much fun I have with my husband! I hope we can go out again before another 6 months passes us by :)

The pantry is FINALLY done-YAY!

2009-06-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

It was a long time coming and its not totally finished, but it turned out much better than I thought it would. Dan put in a light and an outlet so I can charge my swiffers...sweet!! Now if I can only keep it organized!

Putting in the tiles

Put her to work babe!

Almost done!

Ta-Dah!!

The Shelf Reliance Can Stand

All done!! Yay!!

Now we can move down to the next item on the never ending list of "home maintenance and repair." I am SO excited :)

Circo-O-Sorio!! Mexican Circus

2009-06-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

We decided to go to the circus tonight. It was so much fun! It was the first one Emma and I had ever been to. It took me 30 years, but I finally got to see a real tight rope act! And a fire juggling maniac, a donkey who knew how to bow his head, a lasoer (a cowboy swinging a rope in circles) and 2 motorcycles driving around in a metal ball and more. It was actually super exciting! I guess that goes to show you how easy to please we all are?

Waiting for the show to start.

The fire juggler.

They acted like this donkey was the greatest thing ever....hilarious!!

Wow what an act!! Poor thing :(

Gotta love that face!!!

Chewing ice....his one downfall.

All in all the Mexican circus was quite a blast....at least it gave us some good laughs anyway!

Non Stop Energy

2009-06-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

See what I have/get to deal with all day??? I know I will miss these days when she is older, but she wears me out sometimes! If only I could have a tiny bit of her enthusiasm!!

Poppables

2009-06-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

One of Emma's favorite things to do is "real" cooking. She makes these all the time and calls them her "POPPABLES". It keeps her entertained for at least 30 min. Long enough for me to just get into a project and then have her bugging me again :) Good thing biscuit dough is cheap!

Emma Playing Teenager

2009-06-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

Oh to be a grown up!

Doin my make up listnin to my new ipod

What???

Puttin on my moisturizer

Lake Berryessa

2009-05-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

We love this lake....close to home and not too busy. The water isn't too clear, but that is what showers are for right? You never know what is going to squish up between your toes!!

May 17th....Emma is 5!!!

2009-05-17T23:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how fast time goes by. It does not feel like it has been 5 years that we have had this ball of energy in our lives. She has been intense since the day we brought her home from the hospital! That is one of the things we love about this sweetie. She could hardly wait for this day to come. She woke up at 7 am so she could open her presents. She got some new sunglasses, tinkerbell glitter paints, new swimsuits, a dress and a ipod nano.

Posin' with her haul

Can't you just feel her excitement???

Tinkerbell glitter paints....they were gone in 2 days-all over the back patio and still are....they don't wash off :)

Foxy Lady!

Yay! Her very own ipod...now she doesn't have to mess with mine!

Spoiled little brat!!! But we love you anyway :)

Emma's B-day party

2009-05-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Emma had been planning out her birthday party since February. She was so excited to have a "friends" party this year. The activities she wanted to do were: face painting, cake walk, paint suncatchers, design your own pinwheel, make photo holders, and last but not least have a pinata. We ordered a bunch of stuff from oriental trading company and we were all set. Dan brushed up on his face painting skills....he did an awesome job although some of the girls were afraid to have it done :)

Painting suncatchers

She got WAY to many presents.....but thanks!

Deciding what to be

Puppy Daawg

Butterfly

Who knows??

Go Emma!!!

Next year IF she has a party we will go somewhere and let someone else do all the work! I never expected it to be so hard to host nine 5 year olds!! They all needed attention at the same time. Thank goodness for my awesome husband who is much better with kids than I am! At least they all had fun....I think.....

Pantry Remodel

2009-05-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

I have been hating our pantry since the day we moved in. It is about 2 feet wide and 5 feet deep. Not a good shape for storing food that you need to get to on a daily basis. Maybe to store boxes of old clothes you will never fit back into, but not food. We finally decided to do something about it. We have 2 other closets that back up to the pantry. One is a coat closet and the other is for our heater. We needed a new heater anyway since ours was over 3o years old. We had them install the new heater in the attic to free up the closet space. We knocked out the walls between the 3 small closets and made one decent sized pantry. It is now about 6 x 6. Much better. We haven't finished the outside walls, but as long as I don't have my food all over my kitchen I am good. We can finish the outside next year for all I care! It felt so good to knock down those walls!!

How small it was!

Break on through to the other side.

Hello there!

Gotta tilt your head for this one.

I love that laugh!

Its getting there.

Framing it up.

Almost done.

Done with the framing finally.

Gotta fix the ceiling.

Mudding the drywall.

Just a few more coats.

Emma let me do her hair for once

2009-05-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

Glad I got pictures of this.....it doesn't happen very often. I wish she would let me play beautician more, she looks so cute with a hair style !

Can you believe I got this curling iron for my 9th B-day? Still going strong after all these years!!! (21 to be exact....that has to be a record)

She is hating it....

All done...whew!

I have no idea why she wanted to hold the chocolate syrup, she looks like an advertisement for chocolate milk!

Ava slept over

2009-04-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Emma's best friend is Ava Bair. They are more like sisters than close friends. They love to dress alike and they play with each other so well that I don't mind them being together for long periods of time. When Emma asked if Ava could spend the night at our house I was totally fine with it. Emma counted down the days and stayed awake at night planning what her and Ava would do at their little slumber party. She decided that they would wear their matching Ariel nightgowns, watch The Little Mermaid, and snuggle stuffed animals all night long. I didn't think that they would actually do it, but that is pretty much what happened. As soon as Ava got here, they changed into their jammies. Emma had a hard time picking out what stuffed animal she was going to sleep with but finally decided on her "baby bear" that Grandma Mary made her before she was born. Ava had her "Bear Bair" and a stuffed seal from 6 flags.

After dinner, they snuggled right down to watch Little Mermaid. Miraculously, I didn't hear anything else from them the rest of the night!

They are so cute together, I only wish we lived close enough to play together everyday. We will miss Ava so much when she moves to Utah next year. At least we have her for little while longer....we need to get in a few more sleepovers before she is really WAY too far away!

Rainy Day

2009-04-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

At what point in life do puddles change from an alluring ocean to an annoying wet spot you have to manuver around to keep your new shoes clean??

6 Flags Discovery Kingdom

2009-04-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

We are lucky enough to have friends with season passes who had a free friend pass over spring break. Nothin' like free tickets to start the day off right! We had so much fun! Thanks Brandy and Ava!

Oden the tiger

Waiting for the show

Doing the YMCA

Best friends

Easter

2009-04-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Easter came upon us WAY too fast this year. We always celebrate the holiday on Saturday instead of Sunday so that we can focus more on the true meaning of Easter on the sabbath. It seems like the religious holidays today are more about the commercial aspect than about Christ. We want Emma to have fun celebrating both the "fun" part and the "church" part as she calls it.
On Friday night we dyed Easter eggs which is always Emma's favorite part. We did 24 eggs this year, but could have done twice that many. We love decorating them, but eating them later isn't always as fun. I need to find a good recipe to use up all the eggs. I don't mind a boiled egg now and then, but I don't want to eat 24 of them!

CHEESE!! GEEZ!!

The Easter Bunny visited our house on Saturday morning to hide the eggs and fill Emma's basket. He brought her a new Easter dress, a barbie coloring book with a magic marker that reveals hidden pictures, some new sidewalk chalk and of course some candy.

Tracing Daddy with her new chalks.

After she looked over her loot we went to a neighborhood park for the annual Easter Egg Hunt and ta visit with the "real" Easter Bunny. We got there early and had to kill about 25 minutes before the egg hunt started. When the whistle finally blew to signal the start, Emma was off and running. There were tons of children there, but she managed to collect her limit of 10 eggs in only 10 minutes. She ended up with 3 smarties, 4 tootsie rolls, 2 sweet tarts and 1 gummy bunny, well worth the wait. Sorry I don't have any photos of her basket at home or at the park....better luck with that next year!

Crafts.....YAY!!! Her FAVORITE thing in the whole world!

Take my picture PLEASE!!!

2009-04-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

Why do little children always pick the most inconvenient times to be so cute. Its like they know when you have to go searching for the camera because you can't remember where you put it although you know you put it someplace that you would for sure remember. And then when you find the camera in the bag on the back of your bike, it has no memory space left. So you take 20 minutes to dump the existing photos on the computer and then another 10 minutes deleting the photos off the camera because your camera doesn't support the delete function of your downloading software. And then when you are finally ready to take the picture, they aren't being so cute anymore. You can try to recreate the moment, but it just isn't the same. The point??? Always keep the camera in the same spot and dump the photos before its too late!

This is a stool that Dan's Grandpa George made. Dan said he remembers when he used to fit under there too.

I am glad that I have a digital camera. And even though it is small enough to get lost and most of the time it doesn't have enough memory space to take the picture the instant that I want it to, at least I don't have to wait a whole 3 days to see the pictures like my parents did when they were using 35mm cameras. I can see my photos instantly....that is IF the computer is being nice enough to cooperate!

Spring has Sprung!

2009-03-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite times of the year. I love it when the days start getting a little warmer and brighter and the buds start poking their little leaves out of the cold dirt. The last few months or so have been really hard on me and my little family. I think for the most part Dan and Emma are feeling normal, but I am still feeling sad/depressed about not being pregnant anymore. I do feel better physically, but emotionally I am not 100% yet. When I noticed that our weeping cherry tree we planted last year was in bloom I had a small moment of pure happiness. Thank goodness for new beginnings and warm weather! I always feel much better when the sun is shining. I hope these good days will last and that my mood will be sunny as well!

Grandma Ardeth's 90th Birthday in Kanab

2009-03-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

Grandma Ardeth turned 90 this year, so Dan's family threw her a big party. I didn't go to Utah because I had a couple post-op appointments with my infertility doctor that I couldn't miss. Dan and Emma flew there without me and spent the week with his family. He said they had a great time and it was nice to have a week to myself here at home.

Grandma Ardeth (Dan's Dad's Mom)

Yummy Cupcakes!

At Grandma's house. Emma doesn't look too thrilled.

There we go....now Emma's happy.

Our sweet neice and Emma's cousin Mia passed away when she was only 14 months old from a genetic disorder call SMA. We think about her all the time and miss her so much. Emma has a little angel that hangs above her bed that is her Mia. She says that her and Mia were friends in heaven after Mia died and I was pregnant with Emma. We can't wait till we can be together again in heaven! We love and miss you Mia!!!

Our Angel Mia

The house that Nana grew up in.

Emma still fits in the basket on the front of the 4 wheeler....next time she probably be too big.

Up on top of the mountain on Nana and Papa's ranch.

Playing "Sleeping Deer".

Attacking Papa and Friday.

Dan's Fam.....Roger, KariAnn and Kathleen roastin' mellows.

Love the boots Emma!

Maddie and Devin....Maddie looks like the marshmellow is a little too big for her mouth!

One of Emma's favorite things about Nana and Papa's house is the giant bubblegum machine that Papa got from one of his friends. Who knows how old the gumballs are, but Emma doesn't care!

Emma's dream lunch! You can tell Dad has been taking care of her for the last few days!

Here is her real lunch....mater soup and cheese sandwiches....YUM!!

Typical Emma....always making faces. Love the double chin babe! She calls this her "peuce" face.

Disneyland

2009-02-23T21:22:00.000-08:00

One of the great perks of Dan's job is the free Disneyland passes. We have really tried to take advantage of them and usually make it there about 2-3 times a year. Even though it is still a long drive and we have to pay for hotels, it really helps to not have to pay $90/day (or whatever it is up to now) for tickets. We have gone at the end of February for the last few years and it has been great. The park is only open from 10am - 8pm, but that is enough time for us. The weather is awesome and the lines are short.

We also get free stroller rentals, so even though Emma is old enough to walk we always get a stroller to haul all our junk around in. And it is nice when little legs are tired at the end of the day. The only bad thing about the disneyland strollers is that they have to stay in the park, so the walk back to the hotel at night is a struggle. She usually ends up on Dan's shoulders, she is getting so big now it is hard for me to hold her for very long.

Gotta love the Disneyland Lollipops. That thing was SO gross at the end of the day, but she wouldn't let us throw the darn thing away! We had to keep it in a plastic baggie when we were on the rides. Oh well, a little lint never killed anyone!

On the top of Goofy's Boat in Toon Town

Teacups.....I usually sit out on this one, it makes me too dizzy. Thank goodness for Dads!

What would a visit to Disneyland be without a picture with Mickey??

While we were waiting for the fireworks Emma picked a couple flowers and insisited that we wear them for the rest of the day. Thank goodness the day was almost over! I hate flowers behind my ear, I always imagine a huge spider living in one and then crawling down my neck....EWE!!

Everytime we go to disneyland Emma begs us to get her face painted. We have always said no because it is too expensive. But since all of us were still getting over the shock and sadness of losing the baby, we thought we would splurge this time. I was so glad we did, she looked amazing when it was done.

Before.......

Check out how fast this girl was!

After!!!! Doesn't she look BEAUTIFUL!! People we stopping us all day and asking where she got it done. There are several face painting booths around the park, but the one we went to has to be the best. I didn't see any other faces as pretty as this one! Too bad it only lasts a day.

Emma's view of the train ride.

Gotta love Minnie!

Woody, Jessie and Emma

Yummy Disneyland IceCream! Watch Emma when she realizes that Dan is taking a video...my how she can act!

Emma didn't want to fuss with the kiddie rides this trip. In fact, we didn't even go to fantasy land. She only wanted to do the big roller coasters which was totally fine with Dan and I. We did Space Mountain 3 times in a row! Well Dan and Emma did anyway, I couldn't handle a 3rd time. She is a coaster maniac and we are proud of it!!!

Ride #1.... Emma wasn't quite sure if she liked it. Look at Dan trying to comfort her. And me, I am oblivious to everything but the ride! Emma could have been screaming her brains out for all I knew...geez am I a bad mom or what! How could I be having such a great time when my little sweetheart was freaked out??

Ride #2....Emma wanted me to sit with her this time, it doesn't look like she is having any more fun than last time. At least she has her eyes open this time....although mine are still closed! I don't know why I close them, it is pitch black in there anyway.

Ride #3. Okay, now she looks like maybe she is having fun...at least we know Dan is! Maybe she is crying for HELP who knows!! I had to sit this round out, twice in a row is enough for my poor head.

The crash at the end of the day....my favorite part of Disneyland is the 20 second bedtime routine!

Emma's Valentine Cookies

2009-02-14T21:00:00.000-08:00

Frosting and decorating cookies is one of Emma's favorite things to do. I think it is the perfect mix of creativity and sugar that really makes her feel happy. The cookies were actually pretty tasty once we scraped off the pound of high fructose corn syrup piled on top. I liked the one with chocolate and Dan liked the marshmello pecan one. Emma thought they were all "the best".

Oh how I wish I was still a kid again and could find joy in such simple activities! It was fun to watch her little mind thinking about what she would put on next. We need to decorate cookies more often, not just on holidays. The problem is that not only do we like to decorate, we like to eat them too. So maybe it is a good thing that we only do it on special occasions.

Our Sad Sad News

2009-02-12T15:01:00.000-08:00

I went in for my 3 month OB appt. and I explained to the Dr. that I felt like everything that could go wrong WAS going wrong with the pregnancy. She assured me that everything was going to be just fine and that it was normal to be worried after what I had been through in the past year with infertility treatments and such. I didn't believe her.
When it was time for the ultra sound, I had an eerie feeling that she would find something wrong. I could see her looking at the screen with squinty eyes and repositioning the wand over and over. She was pushing SO hard...and then it hit me. The screen was still...the tiny blinking light that I had seen at my last appointment was still. I knew it before she told me. There was no heartbeat. She said she was having a hard time finding the heartbeat, so she needed to do another type of ultrasound. I knew it wouldn't be any different. I tried to tell myself that I was over reacting, but deep down I was preparing for the news. As I suspected, she didn't find anything. She said there was no heartbeat and sent me to the hospital the next day for a more detailed ultra sound which confirmed that indeed the baby had died. I cannot put into words how thoroughly distraught I was and still am.
The OB didn't seem to think that it was a big deal and told me to just wait until my body naturally expelled the baby. NO WAY!!! I was not having that. Maybe that is fine for some women, but I was NOT going to be walking around with a dead baby inside me. She said it could take up to three weeks and until the fetus was gone my body would still think it was alive and continue to produce pregnancy hormones. I was still extremely sick and just wanted to get it over with!
In desperation, I called my WONDERFUL infertility Dr. and he scheduled me for a D & C the following day! He also ordered some tests on the fetal tissue to see if we could find any more pieces to our unexplained infertility puzzle. The best thing was that he gave me enough drugs to push the pain, both physical and emotional, away for a few weeks. Thank goodness....it just proved to me that some doctors really care about what their patients want and to some, we are just a name on yet another chart!
We are of course devastated. All I can say is that if you haven't gone through it, you have no idea how it really feels. The worst thing about it all is that I have been so EXTREMELY sick. I have been in bed or on the couch for 6 weeks straight! It would have been worth it if I would have had a sweet little baby in the end, but to just go through it for nothing really makes me angry. If I didn't have such a hard time getting pregnant, then I wouldn't be so worried. Some women have miscarriages but are able to get pregnant again right away. Unfortunately, this pregnancy was a miracle and I really don't see another miracle happening again in the future. This loss makes a total of 8 embryos that have been inside me but have not survived in the last year. 6 through IVF and 2 natural. All I can think is that there HAS to be something wrong! It is so frustrating to not know why this is happening. People keep saying "when the time is right, it will happen for you." I feel like screaming in their face when I hear that. Why isn't the time right??? Emma is almost 5 years old and I never wanted to have kids that far apart....That is why we started trying to have more when she was only 15 months old. I am sorry for the anger in this post, but that is all I can feel right now. Why would God do this to me? Why would he tease me like this?? What do I have to learn from this?
I am more thankful for Emma now than I ever have been. At least we still have her. I don't know how I could survive if something happened to her. But...what can I do but just move on and try to be strong? I will pretend that I am not torn apart inside. I will put on a happy face and tell everyone that I am okay. When people ask about the pregnancy, I will tell them softly that we lost the baby, but my voice will not crack and my eyes will stay dry. Even as I write this I am pushing back the tears, but I will not let them see.

New Bath Crayons are SOOO cool!

2009-02-05T21:53:00.000-08:00

Emma got new bath crayons. She LOVES anything to do with art stuff. She is pretty darn good already if I do say so myself. I hope she grows up to be just as talented as her daddy!

My Family

Monster Guy

Mad Daddy

Pregnant for Free/Grandma Mary's Visit

2009-01-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

Grandma Mary came to rescue us! Thank goodness.....our lives feel like they have been turned upside down! Let me tell you why we are in such a predicament....
When Emma was about 15 months old, Dan and I decided that it was time for us to have another child. We both wanted our kids to be around 2 years apart. Although I wasn't quite ready for another baby, I felt like it was right. When a whole year had passed with no success, I really didn't mind, but when the second year passed without getting pregnant I started to think something was wrong. I went to my regular OB appointment and he ordered some tests for both Dan and I. When the tests came back normal, we were relieved but still a bit worried. 2 years seemed like ample time to "give it" as everyone kept saying. Why wasn't I getting pregnant? Something had to be going on, after all we didn't have ANY problem with Emma. My doctor didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal, so I bypassed him and went straight to an infertility specialist. After another round of intensive testing for both of us, the results were still the same. We were diagnosed with UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY. I am glad that nothing was wrong, but at the same time I wish they would have found something. At least then, we would know what to do to fix it. Since we didn't have any answers, my Dr. recommended starting with some mild forms of IVF (invitro fertilization) therapy and if those didn't work we would try some more invasive procedures. We were scared, at least I was, but decided this would be the best thing for us. I started with Clomid then IUI (google it), egg harvesting with regular IVF and finally IVF with ICSI (another google). I had 14 eggs retrieved with 9 of them being fertilized into embryos. We did 2 rounds of IVF with ICSI in Jan and then again in March 2008. I had 3 embryos transferred each time. Still no success. I couldn't believe after all that NOTHING worked!!! The whole process was so physically and emotionally draining for me. The daily shots and hormones turned me into another person. Someone I didn't even know existed. I am sorry to anyone I was mean to...it really wasn't my fault-I blame the meds completely!!! After I was done being mad at everyone and everything, we decided to wait until Dec 2008 to do anything else. We still had 3 more embryos frozen and waiting for us.
So.....while we were waiting for December to arrive, I found out I was pregnant! You know what they say about "not thinking" about something? Well it had actually worked for me! But our excitement was short lived because about 2 weeks later I had a miscarriage. I was devastated. I was so glad that we hadn't told anyone yet. Well....December was only a few weeks away, so I kept on with my life trying the best I could to not let anyone know how bad I was hurting. A few weeks later, I had to go in for a blood test to get ready for the embryo transfers. The nurse called me a few days after to say she had good news. I thought she was going to say that everything was normal and I could have Dan start giving me the shots. But to my EXTREME surprise, she told me I was pregnant again. I almost fell over! 2 months in a row I had gotten pregnant without anyones help but Dan's???? WOW!!! This time I was much more reserved with my excitement though. I didn't want to get emotionally attached this soon. We didn't tell a soul. It was a hard secret to keep. When I was 6 weeks along I went in for another blood test to measure my levels. The results came back SUPER high. Normal is around 100, but mine were 130,000! The nurse assured me that this was a VERY good sign and that I should tell everyone our good news, which we did. We were so excited!! We went in for an ultrasound the next week and saw and heard the baby's heart beat. It was amazing. I had forgotten how awesome it feels to hear that tiny little thing! Emma is already starting to be a big sister and talking about how much fun it is going to be and how mom and dad won't have to do anything because she will take care of the baby ALL the time. She even prays for it to live when she says her personal prayers which totally melts my heart. I guess the unsuccessful IVFs last year affected her more than we thought.
So why did my mom have to come out and "rescue" us??? Because I am the sickest I have ever been in my entire life! This is not just morning sickness! I have horrible pain in my upper abdomen that is so bad I can't breathe. I have been lying on the couch or in my bed for the past 4 weeks. Emma is sick with bronchitis and the antibiotics she is taking are giving her diarrhea. I called my mom and all I had to say was "help" and she was packed and on the plane that afternoon. I have not had a shower or changed out of my pajamas for 3 whole days. I went to the Dr. and we found out that I have gall stones and kidney stones which could be causing my unmanageable pain. The bad thing is, that since I am pregnant there is nothing I can do. He did order me to be on an "absolutely no fat" diet, but since I don't want to eat anyway it shouldn't be that hard. I feel just plain crappy. At least I will have a sweet soft baby at the end of all this. I WILL make it through it, especially since my mom is here for the next week or so to take care of me and my family. Emma is especially grateful that she has someone to play with.
THANK GOODNESS for MOMS!!!!!

Grandma Mary dressed Emma up like a princess and did her hair and makeup so she could go to the ball.

Ready for my prince!

Grandma always lets me help.

The chef hat make the gravy taste better!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

We had such a great Christmas this year! Emma could hardly wait for the big day to arrive. This was the first year that she tried peeking at her presents through the slits in the wrapping paper, so by the time Christmas morning came most of her gifts had been torn open a bit on the under side. But that didn't decrease her excitement at all. She got lots of arts and crafts sets and a Star Station (kids karaoke) from Santa. I think her favorite present was the Play dough Ice Cream Maker that Nana and Papa sent to her. Dan's favorite was an engine for his garden railroad and mine was an LCD TV for our bedroom-yay! We spent the day just hanging out and enjoying our new toys.

Emma's Loot

From Nana and Papa...THANKS!!

From Santa

We spent most of the morning baking sun catchers....I had forgotten how fun they were!

Santa brought Daisy a new and much needed bed. She had been sleeping on an old blanket that she would scratch at until it was in the shape of a nest. I think she will like this one much better!

Emma made Dan this mermaid book out of plastic canvas and embroidery floss...I think it turned out really great for a 4 year old!

Add some more Playmobile to the collection baby!

The sunday after Christmas.

Trip to the Firehouse

2008-12-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve some friends of ours invited us to come with them to see the firehouse that is just up the street from us. I guess someone in their ward works there or something. Emma and Dan headed over and had a really good time. Emma got to sit in the fire truck and dress up in the fire gear. Their visit had to be cut short though because while they were there, a fire call came in and the firemen had to leave. Emma said the bells and sirens were SOOOOOO loud!!! I didn't go because I was busy finishing up the neighbor gifts. I wished I had gone when I saw the cute photos of Emma. By the way, she doesn't have a bad rash she was eating red candy just before they left!

9th Anniversary

2008-12-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

We spent the weekend in a quaint little town called Ferndale which is on the coast of northern California. It was about a 5 hour drive from our house, but the scenery was beautiful!!

We stayed at an AWESOME bed and breakfast called "The Gingerbread Mansion"

It was supposed to be the most romantic in the area. Besides the TV not working, the power outage, the internet down, cold water in the tubs, a clogged and overflowing toilet and a burnt out light in the bathroom when I needed it most, we were able to find a little romance there.

On Saturday we explored the coast and did a little hiking in an area called Patrick's Point. It is places like these that really make me enjoy living here.

One of the highlights for Dan was a stop at the Humbolt Fort State Historic Park. They've got a huge collection of old steam motors and locomotives on display.

On the way home we drove through Humbolt Redwoods State Park. I couldn't believe how HUGE the trees were!!!

We had so much fun just being alone together. It is nice to remember why we got married in the first place.

Point Reyes Lighthouse

2008-11-25T08:36:00.001-08:00

Grandpa Duane and Emma on the way down

Duane and the lighthouse

Emma needed a break

We made it back up!

Grandma, Grandpa and Emma

Pretending to be a deer

It was so windy and COLD!!

Deer

Tree Bench @ the visitor's center

Thanks mom and dad for coming out....we had such a great time!

We took a trip to the Cool Patch to pick out Emma's "punkin". Grandma Mary, Grandpa Duane and our friends Brandy, Ava and Addy came too.

2008-11-25T08:00:00.001-08:00

They wished they could get this one!

Emma and her "punkin"

Being reverent in a teepee

Master Dan

Duane and Mary with a straw man

Emma in the corn bath

The fam

Action....
Emma and Ava enjoying their corn bath. Dan wanted in on the fun too! Addy was trying to figure out if she liked it or not....maybe not! Last but not least...Emma crack corn and she don't care!

Family Funny Faces

2008-10-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

Crazy people!

We live with a VAMPIRE!!

2008-10-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

The other night Emma didn't want to go to sleep because she said she was afraid of the dark. We always leave the hall light on and she has a nightlight in her room that is on all night. We told her that it wasn't even dark in her room. She said that it was so we decided to show her what dark really looked like. We turned off all the lights and shut her door. This is what dark is, we told her. She said she liked it better that way and wanted us to leave so she could go to sleep. After we had been gone about 15 minutes we went back in to check on her and this is what we found. She had fallen asleep with her play vampire teeth in! We busted up laughing and were able to take this photo without her waking up. We took the teeth out and waited till morning to ask her why she had them in. She said that since it was so dark in her room she was pretending to be a vampire because they aren't afraid of the dark. I guess my obsession with Twilight has worn off on Emma!!
This girl is crazy and can fall asleep with weird things going on...check this out from last Easter.

She got a rubber pencil from the Easter bunny and decided to "experiment" with it :)

Surprise Package

2008-10-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

when i got the mail today there was a cute little package addressed to Ms. Julie Holland. on the front it said "a fitting gift for you" i decided that emma would really enjoy opening it and finding out what the surprise was inside. i told her that she could have whatever was inside for her very own. she asked if the package was for her and i said that it had momma's name on it, but that i really wanted her to have it. she was so excited! she immediately tore open the box and with a huge smile on her face asked what it was. as you can see from the photos, i was incredibly shocked when i saw what was in it and tried to quickly think about how i was going to explain it :)
so........it was bandaids for your bum and purple poppers in 2 different sizes!! she really had a great time pulling the strings and exclaimed "MOMMA, I CAN PLAY WITH THESE ANYTIME BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST MY POPPERS NO ONE ELSES"

what could i say??? i guess next time i get an unexplained package in the mail i should be more careful!

PURPLE POPPERS

hello..goodbye...hello!

2008-10-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

Last week we adopted a cute little mut from the animal shelter here in fairfield. We named her Daisy and she is a total sweetheart. Emma just loves her to death! Daisy has a shady past, being 2 years old and having lived in 3 homes already. But we figured with enough love and attention we could be her final family. She hardly ever barks and is housetrained- 2 HUGE pluses! She is a really good dog and has learned very quickly. Emma likes to hold her by her front paws and make Daisy "dance" which she doesn't like but endures.
On saturday Dan was working in the garage and Daisy was with him. Without thinking, he opened up the big garage door and out Daisy bolted. She ran down the sidewalk and around the corner. I followed after her and tried to lure her back with treats but as soon as I got remotely close to her she would run farther. I decided to head back home and get in the car. Dan and I searched around for a while and couldn't see her anywhere. We figured she would come home when she was hungry. But she didn't. Emma was so distraught! We left the garage door open about 6 inches overnight so that if Daisy did come back she would be able to get in.
Sunday and monday passed and there was no Daisy. I posted a lost dog ad on craigslist hoping that someone had found her. I called the animal shelter where we adopted her, but as a government agency they were closed over the weekend and on monday for columbus day. I figured if we hadn't heard anything by now, she was gone forever.
Until this afternoon.......I got a message from the shelter that a woman had brought Daisy in and didn't want to leave her. Luckily they had the phone number for the lady and when I called her she said I could come and pick the dog up! I guess Daisy was under the car at this lady's house and she took her in. She said that she had to wait until today to take her over to the shelter, since it was closed. Emma and I went over there right away and brought our little doggie home.
I was very relieved, especially since Emma had been praying like crazy for us to find her. I didn't want to have to explain to her that Heavenly Father still answers prayers even though we don't think so sometimes :)
Anyway....I feel bad for the dog because her life has been so unstable lately. I just hope that as she spends more time with us she will have less urge to run!

Thanks HOLLAND family

2008-06-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

Hi you guys this is Ashley, Julie and Dans niece!! I came out here for part of my summer and it has been a blast!!! We went to Disneyland and rode the new Toy Story ride (Thanks Dan for getting the tickets), we went to Lake Tahoe (Thanks so much for letting us use the cabin Micheal and Pam), and go to San Fransisco, we went and saw Wall e before it came to theatres, and so much more i can't even name it all!!! I just want to say to the Holland Family Thanks for making my SUMMER A BLAST!!!

Dan's muppet Movie

2008-01-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

This movie is a parady of what Dan's day is like at Pixar. The sad thing is that it is all true! Even the sleeping, Dan has been known to take a nap at work several times. In fact he keeps a sleeping bag there just in case!
Dan made the muppet with a little help from me. His name is Mr. Ralph Anderson or Dick Johnson whichever fits him at the moment. Sorry for the bad quality......Hope you enjoy!

2008-01-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

This is Dan playing doctor. He only likes to use real medicine and real needles.

New to blogging

2008-01-11T21:27:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone...we have been in the dark ages and just learned how easy it is to start a blog, so here is our attempt.